Drained

I’m at a point where it wouldn’t have mattered if I was sad or happy. Drained, what a perfect word for such an empty feeling. The implosion of emotion must’ve done something to numb my mediocre existence, or lack there of. A clusterfuck of things I barely signed up for, but then again, I did sign up so I guess it’s still my fault in the end. I’m not complaining, I couldn’t careless to be honest. I’m writing this down because I just am, hobby, document everything, like a computer algorithm that just keeps on looping in on itself. Maybe when it finally hits a loophole I’ll be able to get back or maybe whoever wrote the code is a goddamn genius and it’s the perfect program. I don’t really care to be honest and yet I wonder. Isn’t this torture? “There’s duality at play.” as Dr. Jakyll would say. The dark side and the light, each pull gives us the illusion of life. “Interesting” they would say, I may have found that true once but now my war seemed to have ended. It’s calm and quiet, yet cold and empty. I wish there’s a cure for my emptiness, or maybe I wish otherwise now too. There’s no light and dark anymore, there’s just the void. Everything and nothing all at once. I’m drained.